Literature: Pieces of Reality

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Literature: Pieces of Reality

On A Lighter Note of Hypocrisy

From Upcoming Book: Pieces of Reality

By:Hanamel Kingston Onyxstone

I keep seeing things that won’t allow me to drink water and mind my business.

Young pastor lives opposite me – first floor. I live on third floor – I can see what goes on in his condominium, kitchen and balcony.

Pastor is between ages 29-32. Spends approximately 20 minutes combing and styling his fried afro. Wears these overly pencilled pants and very huggish|heavily starched long-sleeved shirts. His suits and ties are obviously Japanese, very curvy and suiting.

Pastor has ice-cold eyes and stubborn lips. Stares up at me each morning with a sour frown, like I am a sinner. Maybe because a couple of fine young women have paid me visits. I don’t let his unfriendly attitude bother me, may God not sha allow him cross my path to bring evangelism to my doorsteps. I will just tell him he is an egg that needs to hatch before talking to me.

Back to the matter. There’s a girl in pastor’s condo since he moved in – his fiancee, I got to understand. He locks her in when stepping out. Does he even realise she won’t escape if there’s a fire in his condo? They will sing and shout like Apostle Paul and Silas – hammer prayers in multilingual tongues of kabashing* every early momo*, I will smile and shut my window.

These 4 three-storeyed buildings boasts of 36 apartments per building, so picture the grave-yardy silence after everyone travelled for the holiday. I am one who can be in my room for days, without stepping out.

As the silence persists. Lo and behold! On the eve of Christmas, I can’t believe my ears – 2:39AM, loud male guttural grunts and shrill female moans. Could this be night vigil? I wonder. It gets louder; I step out of my room to my balcony; mock the reception of a call by yelling; “Ugo…how far na*? Bring my laptop, I wan* watch action film abeg*.” Instantly, grunts and moans ceases, I sneak back into my room.

7:19AM Christmas day, I am leaning on my balcony and the usual kabashing* doesn’t take place. He steps out, smiles at me and says “merry Xmas, you didn’t travel?” I nod and smile back – that knowing smile. Tuale* pastor. It was the same thing last night. This morning fiancee wishes me a happy new year. The kingdom of heaven be upon you all.

In other news, tueh* for all of you still flooding my inbox with the new year wishes. You don’t know when to stop abi?



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