About 7 years ago,I did an article in the Empower magazine of the International Federation of Women Lawyers with this title;thereafter, I have also done a couple of others with same title. The thing is,they are all distinct writings save for the title and author. This is also different I assure you.
Most men always want virgins as wives,including those who pursue everything in skirt;they want good girls. Some get the good girls and are still messing around believing she is a good girl and will wait for him. She is human and guys are desperately looking for intelligent,industrious and beautiful women even with kids. A word is enough for anybody really not just the wise.
Have you met people who live in denial and manipulate others into believing same? Somebody who lies even when there is no need will be announcing how they are truthful people. When you seek to inform us of your piety and truthfulness needlessly,you make us curious.
Have you been interrogated by toddlers lately? Sex education no longer starts at 13 years,we must start at 9 years latest. Kids now have many “teachers” and have access to all kinds of information so,if you do not give age-appropriate timely,correct information,television,song,street,adverts,movies,friends etc will beat you to it with false and dangerous information.
During courtship,people generally put their best foot forward. So,when you are in a relationship and the person ask for loan to do a business then,he or she does not pay back,it’s a red flag! When he threatens with a clenched fist,then,don’t be surprised when you become a punching bag in the marriage.
If he calls to know how many times you breathe,who you greet,who compliments you etc. Be careful! When he is with you,he answers your calls,reads your messages or would ask you to put it on speaker. Are you sure you want to marry him?
As a Speaker, Facilitator, Counselor and Mentor,I get questions like “What should I look for in a partner?” My answer is often like “What do you want in life?” For most people they do not have an answer so,here are a few basics for me before I talk about the container (height,weight,chest,statistics etc)
1. What are his or her core values
2. What is a deal(marriage) breaker for him or her? Please answer for yourself and also ask the person,do not assume.
3. Is the person willing to learn?
4. Do I have to compromise or become an entirely different person?
5. Do we have similar goals and objectives in life or does he or she believe in my dreams and aspirations?
As Africans and Nigerians we used to wonder about the divorce rate in other climes,now,it is happening to us and I believe the reasons include:
1. Searching for and falling in love with ‘the life of the party’ only to look for fatherhood or motherhood;value parents in the marriage.
2. Not knowing what we want prior to getting married
3. False expectations including the belief that a grown adult will change over night
4. Looking for 100% forgetting we are not 100% and really,how many people are?
Given how chaotic our lives have become with so many things calling our attention,I choose to stop so,you don’t sleep on me while we are discussing.
Thank you for your time.